Life, Death.

you may call me macabre, depressed, suicidal or whatever else you please. but the fact is that death is beautiful. interpret it however you may, but know that i am only saying this from a poetic point of view.

when we are young, we are so much more in touch with death. we have not much to lose.

as we grow into this world, we grow attached to it. we stand to lose more and more. the thought of it simply horrifies me.

why do we grow attached? is it simply in our nature? what if we do not grow attached? would we then be considered abnormal?

i have always never felt normal, never related to what most of society deems as "acceptable". never felt the same needs and wants. and i was, in a sense, proud of that. because i recognised that i was different. yet, that made me feel infinitely alone- because i was ridiculed and isolated by those who did not have the brain capacity to comprehend the diversity in other people.

now, however, i have discovered more and more like-minded individuals like myself. and it is refreshing indeed to start to feel that sense of belonging, of being a part of something bigger than yourself. it has however, shaken my longstanding view of myself- that i am alone. my defenses have always been raised. but there is getting less and less need for it now. and i am afraid that should i let them drop, that i will not know how to raise them again should the need arise.

aside from that, why does it seem to me that society always has a say in how i conduct myself and what i do? it is getting really annoying.