Inividuality

you know i'm so sick of having so many things in common with a certain annoying extra appendage.

it just makes me so sick that i can't be who i am or what i want to be when she's around.

i have to play the role she's familiar with. i have to be who she thinks i am.

and i just lose my sense of individuality. people start to associate us together. if i'm there she's supposed to be there as well.

i. just. want. to. do. my. own. thing.

the. way. i. want. it.

is it me, or does it seem like she always want to have what i have? thereby indirectly taking it away from me? because i get so sick of pretending i actually enjoy sharing it, that i just give in and give it up and let her take it over completely?

i know some people actually like sharing.

i like sharing too.

but not with someone with whom i was FORCED to share every bloody fucking single thing with ever since she arrived.

as if i had no independent will of my own.

as if i didn't deserve to have things of mt own.

as if i wasn't worth a damn fucking thought.

as if i was there just to facilitate her existence.


i love sharing.

but when you make me give it up, when you take it by force, that isn't sharing.

get your facts straight.


i am my own person. i have my own life. now get out of it. i don't get into yours, now do i? you made it pretty clear that i wasn't welcome.

but i can't do the same to you, lest certain people write me off as bullying you, or being selfish, or being mean.


and you have no right to criticise me should i decide not to let you borrow my stuff.

you want to steal my style as well?

thank god you're leaving.

then i can leave as well. then i can live.

The Heart-wrenching Story Of My Life

such is my luck

that i find the perfect guy

the PERFECT guy

sweet, humble, funny, kind, caring, slightly vulnerable, out going, friendly, honest, witty, can still surprise me with the littlest things AND smart AND is taller than me

and he thinks that he isn't good enough for anyone

moreover he already has someone else in mind

and i know this because he told me that he isn't good enough for this other girl.

excellent, two strikes in one blow.

and i don't know what to do about it.

i hate this feeling.

i feel immensely vulnerable yet very much happy at the same time.

it sucks.

and to top it all off, he might, he just might like me as well.

if his body language isn't miscommunicating.

i never should have let myself fall.

but he's perfect. ='(